What judge in the world (especially in the great big United States of America) orders a man to pay child support AS THOUGH he were making $90,000 per year when in fact he had been unemployed for 8 months and currently has a job that earns him $14,500 gross per year with no benefits (which also eliminated his unemployment compensation). This man also has to provide for new his 9-month-old son and his wife who is a full-time mother to their son. This judge is fully aware in the meantime that the man, his wife and new child are on WIC, Food Stamps, and Medicaid and that they are still unable to feed their 9-month-old son or heat their home in the dead of winter.
What judge in the world makes the decision two years prior to give a demented unfit mother full custody of an 11-year-old child and in the same breath signs off on a restraining order against this extremely mentally ill mother, who happens to have criminal charges pending against her? What judge in the world, being fully aware of the fact that the man’s ex-wife (the insane mother to a now 13 and ½ year old) took the man’s $300,000 home, $60,000 of his retirement, and tens of thousands of dollars in child support and extra payments outright gives this unhinged ex-wife not only full custody of the teenage son, but now literally bankrupts the man’s new family and makes the new 9-month-old son literally starve and freeze to death?
What kind of judge makes these decisions? A discriminatory, prejudiced and corrupt one who has displayed judicial bias time and time again and was very likely bribed into making these decisions. Quite possibly, a judge who absolutely despises men probably because of some past youthful terrible experiences of her own with men who is letting her past experiences dictate her current judicial decisions.
Furthermore, what woman in her right mind, is so angry that her husband of 20 years left her (because he simply couldn’t take her verbal, physical, mental and psychological abuse any longer) that she not only takes his house, more than half of his retirement monies, tens of thousands of dollars in child support and other items, and yet is dissatisfied and fights (and wins, by the way—with the help of an equally insane judge) for more!? So much more that she literally bankrupts her ex-husband and puts him and his new family on the street with no food, heat or any place to turn to? What kind of woman poisons her son completely against his father and uses her own son as a tool to extort the son’s father into doing what she wants him to do? What kind of woman refuses to let her son see his own father and blackmails the father of her child by telling him he’d better do whatever she wants, otherwise he isn’t allowed to see his son? Answer: The kind of woman whose greediness is only outweighed by her selfishness and her lack of connection to reality.
Please meet me, A., my husband, K., and our 9-month-old, son, T.
Outlined above is the situation we find ourselves in. My husband, K., has traditionally held excellent jobs in his career as a law librarian. In that field, he most recently worked at a central Pennsylvania higher education institution where he felt so under-appreciated that left Pennsylvania in July 2011 to move to New York (where both he and I have elderly parents or grandparents, some of whom are confined to wheelchairs and walkers—so we have been trying to take care of said relatives to the extent we can). It took him a couple of months, but he eventually found an equally lucrative job working for a major law firm in New York City. He had the boss from hell at that particular job, and was let go 2 weeks before our son T. was born. He continued to look for jobs in his avocation while he was on unemployment, but getting desperate, he started applying outside of his career discipline. He mourned the loss of a beloved 25-year-career and he finally found a part-time job with a candy company where he earns a gross of only $14,500 a year with no benefits. New York State unemployment cut off his benefits because he “works enough days a week” (despite the fact that his current income while working part-time is actually below what he was receiving in unemployment while he had no job). K.’s unemployment and the lousy economy have hit us hard. However, what has had a much greater financial, social, psychological, and interpersonal impact on us has been the greedy ex-wife from hell, V., and the biased and corrupt judge of Centre County Courthouse in Bellefonte, PA.
K. has two children: the first one, M., who is nearing 14 years of age and who lives with his severely mentally ill mother in Pennsylvania; the second child, T., who is our 9-month-old son. Below please view the very simple chart outlining what each child (and his custodial parent(s)) receives or has received.
|M. (13 and a half years old)
||T. (9 months old)
|*4-bedroom $310,000 house (which K. gave to his psychotic ex even though he is the one who paid for the house with his earnings alone)
*$60,000 of K.’s retirement money
*$5400 lump sum payment in back child support*$2300 per month in child support until May 2012*$654 per month in child support until Dec. 2012
*$900 per month child support starting Dec. 2012
*$42,000 per year in his mother’s income (if she isn’t working overtime, which she has been complaining of doing a lot lately, so this income is probably more in the $46,000 range)
* thousands of dollars in school lunches (which M.’s mother absolutely REFUSED to pay for), hockey equipment, Boy Scout fees, etc.
|*$0 in any child support*$100 K.’s monthly income (which is supposed to sustain all 3 family members-father, mother, and child)*WIC checks for formula and baby food only (very minimal)*Medicaid
*Food Stamps in the amount of $44 per month (which is supposed to sustain all 3 family members-father, mother, and child)
Fair? Just? Unbiased? You decide. Who cares about earning capacity? What happened to earning reality? After all, a teacher grades a student’s test based on how the student really did, not based on what the student is capable of doing.
It is unconscionable to me that in this great country we call the U.S. A. such injustices are permitted—nay, encouraged—against an already-struggling family with a young baby. When my parents and I emigrated to this awesome country from Romania (a formerly communist Soviet satellite), I was sad at first, as any 13-year-old would be. But, in time, I recognized the sacrifices that my parents had made just so that my brother and I could have the opportunity to enact better lives for ourselves than our parents had had living under a communist regime all their lives. I was very grateful to them (and still am) and I became a greater patriot than most native-born Americans. Twenty years ago I became a US citizen. I was and still am so incredibly appreciative and ecstatic to be a citizen of the greatest nation in the world. One of the main reasons I am so proud to be a US citizen is because this positively is the land of opportunity (and I speak from very personal experience when I say that), with liberty and justice for all—or so I thought of the latter until recently. Said judge’s decision is not justice. It is a travesty; one that has negatively impacted our family in the worst of ways. Aside from being unable to heat our home or provide food for our baby (the WIC checks are a great help and I am very grateful for the WIC program, but they don’t quite suffice), we also can’t afford to buy other necessities such as diapers, toilet paper, or a car seat so that we may be able to take our son to the pediatrician as needed (or, God forbid, to the hospital in an emergency). It is our son’s first Christmas in a few days. Forget the presents that we aren’t going to be able to buy him. I grew up without any presents at Christmas time in Romania, and I know it’s not a big deal and that presents don’t really matter. However, to be unable to give him two parents who can physically provide the bare necessities for him is very shameful (though I know I shouldn’t feel shame, as I didn’t cause this situation) and extraordinarily upsetting. Truthfully, and not for any dramatic effect of any kind, my whole body is shaking as I am writing you this letter; shaking with anxiety, anger, sadness, tears, shame and sheer helplessness and hopelessness for our current situation. The part that honestly hurts the worst for me is the fact that I am unable to be here fully 100% mentally and emotionally for our son. I am so extremely distressed about this situation and it is taking such a great mental and emotional toll on me that I am only able to sleep a maximum of 4 hours per night and as a result I am incapable of concentrating completely on T. My son deserves better than this awful hardship.
However, despite the troubling nature of our predicament, I refuse to give up. I refuse to let this tear our family apart. I refuse to let it defeat me. That’s why I am writing to you. I am not writing to ask for any monetary help of any kind. I am doing this to simply ask you for your compassion, comfort, support and understanding for my current position and to ask your help in exposing the grave iniquities that have been and are being committed against me and my family. Please help me find some modicum of justice, even if only by exposing the travesty that is occurring against my family and against the judicial system in this country. Doesn’t our son, T., have any rights in any of this? Doesn’t he matter at all? Does the fact that we can’t put food on our table or keep our home heated or be able to bathe our son mean absolutely nothing to this judge? Does it mean anything to anyone else?
I will never give up fighting, but only with your help will redress be done. I still believe in our legal system (though it does fail some very innocent people at times). I still believe that in this particular country, if you work hard enough, and play by the rules, you will be able to provide a decent life for your family. I still believe in all the principles that made me so proud on Flag Day twenty years ago to give up my Romanian citizenship and become a citizen of the most exceptional nation in the world. And I believe in you, the reader. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. I believe that together, “we shall overcome”.
Please help me publish this story anywhere and everywhere you can think of. I am hoping that someone somewhere out there who reads this story and is in a position to do something about it will take note and actually help us to correct this travesty of justice.
With the sincerest and most heartfelt thanks,